Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

God is Amazing!!! he takes broken hearts and make them whole!!! May he bless you everyday!

Courtroom - Carman

If tonight you stood in Heaven's court
To seek eternal favor
Would you face Jesus Christ as judge
Or would you face Him as your Saviour?
There are many who don't quite know for sure
What that verdict would be if ever
So let's imagine for a moment you're standing dead center
In the courtroom of forever

Sitting before you is a structure
Massive and intense
It's here your fate will be determined
Before this Judge's bench
Then a voice booms, "This court's now in session."
And your adrenaline starts to rush
Peering down with eyes that see through your soul
Is God the Father; your Judge

Then off to your left, across the room
Is the virtual silhouette of sin
Stepping out of the shadows of condemnation
Your worst nightmare walks in
On his face is the smirk of evil incarnate
His mind fixed on your destruction in hell
You've just been introduced to your prosecuting attorney
None other than Satan himself

The Bible says he's the accuser of the brethren
So guess what he's gonna do
He's gonna accuse you of your sins
And he knows them all
Both the old ones and the new
He's prepared his case for years
Now the golden moment is his
So in arrogance he presents his case to the Judge
And it comes out sounding something like this

"God, you see this worthless piece of trash over here?
This one is a sinner to the core
This one has commited adultery, cursed his neighbor, stolen money
Been into drugs, alcohol and even more
This hopeless wretch has even slandered friends
And by that guilty face this whole courtroom can tell
That to a moral certainly and beyond and reasonable doubt
This one deserves eternal judgement in hell"

The words of accusation still echo
Your every sin thrown up in your face
Then God opens the book where ever deed is recorded
And reviews your records of disgrace
God says, "The book says you did this, this and this
And everything you were accused of today
Now, before I sentense you to hell forever
Are there any last words you have to say?"

Now, if it's true you're standing there in the courtroom of eternity
With God to your front and Satan the prosecutor to your left
There's on remaining eternal truth, on that's crucial to remember
On you should never, ever, ever forget
That on the other side of the courtroom
I said, on the other side of the courtroom
You ain't hearing me tonight
I said, on the other side of the courtroom

Is the one and only Son of God
Revealed in time and space
And He's your defense attorney
Who has never lost a case
It's not Buddha, Mohammed or Krishna
Or any other who succumb to death
Ladies and gentlemen on the other side of the courtroom
Is Jesus Christ of Nazareth

Then Jesus jumps up, says, "What a minute, Judge
Now I've got something to say
May I remind you that on a cross 2,000 years ago
I washed his sins away
I was crucified, I died, they put Me in a tomb
But long about the midnight hour
The power of God hit Me and I walked out of that grave
Alive and well with resurrection power"

The devil said, "It's in the book, it's written in the book
Check the book," and God said, "OK"
Then He takes the book out, lays it open and says
"Now we'll see what this book has to say"
He turns to the first page, the second page, the third
By the fourth, the devil seemed shook
God closes it and says, "The blood of Jesus must have worked
'Cause there is absolutely nothing in this book"

The devil says, "Now, wait a minute, check that book again
All his sins are written down, they're all right there"
God said, "Fevil, maybe you're mistaken all together
Maybe it's this other book down here"
The devil cries, "No! Not that book, not that one"
God said, "Devil, why you so uptight?"
God sets the book down, the dust flies
And on the cover it says
The Lamb's Book Of Life

Is your name in that book?
Is your name in that book?
Is your name in that book for sure?
If you've been forgiven
And your name is written
Then lift your hands, praise the Lord

Yes, my name's in that book
Yes, my name's in that book
Yes, my name's in that book tonight
I've been forgiven
And I know my name is written
In the Lamb's Book Of Life
In the Lamb's Book Of Life

This courtroom is adjourned

             - i know that i keep posting lyrics but in this he really talks alot of it kindda like the Champion. i ljust love it and really makes me so thank-ful to have Jesus as my lawyer.

      well Guy was a fun trip and i just love the girls. i met my long lost sister....haha. but no really a girl on my team, Katie and i are alike in so many ways its weird.we have bootcamp this week and i am more excited about it than i was when i first went. thats all.....God Bless, luv yas

ok so i leave for Guy tom. first i go to Bald Knob and then Elizabeth adn i are driveing to Guy where we will be helping with the building of a church that burned down. we will be there till saturday then we come home, unpack and then repack for VSM Bootcamp which we will leave late Monday i assume. thats in Gary Tx. fun times.

the other night i was at dinner wiht my parents and we were talking about college. right now i am majoring in missions and minoring in music but then i thought about changing it to something i could use in the states if this is where God wants me to be. my mom mentioned social worker and i had thought about that a couple months back but didnt give it much thought cause i had my heart set on missions and i still do. but i have also wanted to be a youth minister so i might be able to find a major in that. i love to be around little kids but i have loved the idea of being a youth minister for the past couple of years. so i dont know what to do with college....

anyways, going golfing tonight got the first time!! refuge is going and i am so excited...i have always wanted to golf but then again im kindda scared of making myself look stupid ( thats an oxymoron) cause i know that i am going to swig and miss but its just infront of some friends....im out!! luv yas

eww i look grose(sp?) but its me and my sister!!

why is it that in any relationship (friend or romatic) I am always the one who gets griped at for not doing something that the other person could do? its still happens with some of my friendships and so i look like the bad person. its always that i am the one hurting the other....never getting hurt

anyways, i need to start drinking more water cause my camp is in texas it is going to be really hott!! and i am going to start walking today to get some what prepared for it. im excited about it though. i cant wait to meet my team and if i dont have a job by mid week next week then i will be goign to Guy with my group and we are going to help build houses.

well thats my thoughts nad if ya dont like it then deal....haha, jk but no really they are what i think and feel......luv always

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
But clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss up on my cheek
He's here reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our Love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore (anymore)

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer (a murderer)

No no no no

Yeah yeah yeah

i thought that when i graduated highschool then the drama would go away but its still there especially with the younger ppl. i think thats why i like refuge better and the fact that its got alot of gibson/stallings/purtee ppl and i am so comfortable wiht that family. but i am happy summer is here so that i can go to refuge. me and heather had some good talks, things that she noticed and i am glad she brought up cause i needed to talk to someone about them.  anyways memorial day weekend is this weekdend and i have nothing to do. i dont even know why its a holiday but o well. i bought luggage(sp?) today and i wanna pack for my trip now but that would be silly. i will have to get things ready for camp though cause its in a week. well, here is a josh groban song that i have fallen in love with.

"Remember When It Rained" - Josh Groban

Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you.
No more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
Felt the ground and looked up high
And called your name.
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
In the darkness I remain.

Tears of hope run down my skin.
Tears for you that will not dry.
They magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
I felt the ground and looked up high
And called your name.
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
In the water I remain
Running down (7x)

She's out of my life
She's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life

[2nd Verse]
It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think for two years she was here
And I took her for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that It stands
She's out of my hands

[Bridge]
So I've learned that love's Not Possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late

[3rd Verse]
She's out of my life
She's out of my life
Damned Indecision and cursed pride
Kept my love for her locked deep Inside
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life

             - so this is a great song by josh groban and i was listening to it and i could see myself in it. i see myself as the girl that he is talking about but i can also see myself on his side of the relationship. anyways, its just a great song that i like. graduation is saturday! hope it goes great and nothing to terrible happens!! luv yas

"When You Say You Love Me"

Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

[bridge:]
And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

            -altighty so i havent posted in a while cause i have been super busy. anyways, i have been out of school for about a week and i have another week till i graduate!! yay..i miss everyone which is weird cause i have seen most of my friends like everynight last week cause of banquets and my party and such. anyways, my brother has a Josh Groban cd that i have been listening too all weekend and i love it!!!! im thinking about keeping it!!!haha. well, thats all.....luv yas

A father was taking his son through their church and showing him the different things. They came to a plaque and the son said "Daddy, whats that for?" His father answered by saying "That is to honor the people who have died in service" the little boy looked at his father and said "which one, the morning service or the night service?"

haha..this was in our announcements today adn i thought it was cute. so yesterday i cleaned my class room at church. funfun. but its all pretty and my buletin board is all springy. 25 days till i am 18!!YAY!! Prom is in 20 days!! anyways, we are going ot Oklahoma wed to sing the National Anthem at the Hornets Game. if its on tv then i will let yall know but we arent sure yet. then net week i wil be gone the 12-14 for ASPA in Hot Springs!! funfun.. i should be back in time for the easter thing cause we are supposed to be home at 5. hmm.....

i have to go back to the mall sometime cause i have to get my easter dress and i need to get some pants from steve and barry while they are $8. please pray for my mission trip cause i still need some money for it. not sure how much yet but i still need some adn since i dont have a job to help contribute to it its stressing me out. but i know that if i am supposed to go then God will provide what i need.

well i am single and its hard but i will live. if you dont understnad why it happened then you can ask. just dont go assuming things and start griping ME out cause i know tha tsome will want to do that by asking why would you dont that? in a griping tone! so just ask and dont assume. well this is all for now, i wil talk to yall laters!! luv yas and buhbyes

I woke up late
Guess I’m never really early
I hesitate, only to fail
I get so tired, of procrastinating
I need a change

I can’t do this
I can’t do this
I can’t do this by myself
I can’t do this
I can’t do this
Oh God, I need Your help

I’m standing still
I’m oh, so peaceful
I can’t pretend, that I’m fine
I get so ill, crazy, agitated
When I’ve not really died

I can’t do this
I can’t do this
I can’t do this by myself
I can’t do this
I can’t do this
Oh God, I need Your help

Press into me
Breathe me in
Bask in me
You’ll be free to do anything

I can’t do this
I can’t do this
I can’t do this by myself
I can’t do this
I can’t do this
Oh God, I need Your help

       ever feel like you dont have any friends but you know you do. its so hard when i feel like i am decieved(sp)  by those who say they are my friends. i dont wanna go to college knowing tha ti will have nothing to come home to when i do come home. i want to see my friends when i come home this summer from all my trips but i feel betrayed by some of them or i feel that some of them are really fake and i cant trust them....luv yas adn buhbyes